I have been sitting here in front of this screen for thirty minutes now. I have written and erased over and over again yet I still sit here not having a clue of what to say. There are so many things going through my head that to put these thoughts in any logical order seems impossible. The atonement, repentance, faith, life after this... all of these things circle in my head but not one lands on the feelings in my heart.
It seems like this last week the only person that I have been able to think about is one of my best friends from home. She has had a rather tough year and me having come on a mission doesn't really seem to have helped much. See, she and I have been friends for a long time and there are very few things (if any) that we don't share with one another and me being on a mission doesn't allow us the free form of communication that we have grown so accustomed to. I know it's been hard on her but it's also been hard on me not being able to talk her through any struggle or situation she may find herself in. So I'm going to take this opportunity to speak to her (hoping that she will read this)...
A big part of this mortal experience is that we face trials and struggles to help us grow closer to our Father in Heaven. We will all struggle, it's a fact of life but God has promised us that with faith in Him then He will "make weak things become strong." When we look back on the journey of our life we can see all the times that we have struggled and fallen; all the times that we made choices that were in complete contradiction to the will of the Lord. We've all made mistakes, we've all sinned but we must always remember that Christ died so that we wouldn't have to carry that guilt and pain. In the Book of Matthew Christ pleads with us, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." If we will turn to Christ in our trials and humble ourselves enough to ask for His help He will give it to us. He wants to help but it is up to us to seek it out, "ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened." In the Garden of Gethsemane Christ paid the price for our sins, He paid it so we wouldn't have to. How dare we not give Him that which he rightfully paid for! We cannot be afraid of the consequences that we face as imperfect beings because we must have faith in our Lord and Savior. He wants to take care of it, now allow Him to. My prayers are always with you, until the end.